Pleasure Mountain
Welcome to Pleasure Mountain:
The adventure park that has an unlimited number of ways to get to the top!
As with anything in life, when it comes to pleasure and sexual enjoyment, it isn’t something that occurs in a vacuum. Pleasure for every individual is just that, individual, and corresponds with other aspects of your life. Sexual preferences from one person to another are different, and often play off our lived experiences. Every mountain has a multitude of ways to get from the bottom to the top; whether you’ve chosen to climb, hike, scramble, sprint, or enlist the help of a device, each and every route is just as valid of an option as any other. Perhaps you’ve never climbed before and you’d prefer to take your time and hike. Maybe you know from experience that you’ll enjoy it more with the help of other equipment. For many, they’ve fallen before or had a scary experience that they need to find a level of comfort with in order to reach the summit. Others may never want to reach the summit and are happier exploring the mid-mountain routes and lookouts. No two people’s experiences are the same.
“Going on an expedition gives you the chance to be truly in the moment and let everything else go.”
Let’s shift our focus for the moment to the vulva: the external sexual structures often found on female identifying people.
Just as with any part of the body, the vulva will look different from person to person; varying in colour, shape, size, anatomical features and amount of hair. The vulva is capable of eliciting a wonderfully diverse spectrum of pleasurable feelings and contains the only sex organ with the sole purpose of experiencing pleasure: the clitoris.
Feel free to raise a toast to that little gem!
With the clitoral structure extending into the body alongside the vagina, and for some connected to the G spot, the clitoris is often the most tried and true method for some people to achieve orgasm. For many that journey to orgasm includes experimenting with different sexual positions and/or stimulating different areas. Some people like deep pressure while others prefer softer strokes. Some enjoy masturbating alone, others choose pleasure with a partner or a vibrator. Some prefer touch or penetration, others prefer not to be touched at all. When it comes to sexual pleasure, there is no singular right way to experience it.
Sexuality and sexual expression are an important aspect of the human experience.
It is important to remember though, that how we experience sex is often tied to our lived experiences, and for some of us that lived experience has not always been a pleasurable one and requires compassion. The key is listening to and respecting both your own along with your partner’s sexual boundaries. What feels fantastic to one person may not be enjoyable for another. While penetration may be the go-to choice for one person, for others it can be physically or emotionally painful no matter how aroused they may be. Perhaps the clitoris is altogether too sensitive for one individual, they may prefer stimulation focused on the mons, labia, perineum or vaginal insertion without actually focusing any touch on the clitoris at all.
The point is that we all differ as much in the shapes and structures of our sexual organs as we do in our sexual experiences and erogenous zones. So, next time you are planning a hike up Pleasure Mountain be sure both you and your partner are choosing a trail you agree on, scouting out the route, checking-in with the map, and pausing when you need to navigating any unforeseen issues along the way.
REFERENCES
Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J. S., Fichner-Rathus, L., McKay, A., Milhausen, R. (2020). Human sexuality in a world of diversity (5th Canadian ed.). Toronto, ON: Pearson Canada Inc.
“Everyone has their own way to explore a mountain, whether with a partner or on your own, the key is respecting the chosen route, changing course if redirection is needed, and enjoying the journey. ”
